Keepers at Home-Loving Yourself and Self Esteem

Ecclesiasticus 30:23 “Love thine own soul, and comfort thy heart, remove sorrow far from thee: for sorrow hath killed many, and there is no profit therein. 

Ecclesiasticus 14:5 He that is evil to himself, to whom will he be good? he shall not take pleasure in his goods.

Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. 

Song of Solomon 4:7 - Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. 

Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

What is Self Esteem?

Confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect. Similar words are self regard, faith in oneself, pride, dignity, morale.

Most people determine their worth based upon other-esteem. They seek approval and validation from others, and their opinion of themselves isn’t very high unless they get it. True self-esteem isn’t based on what others think of you, since it’s self-esteem. It’s basically what you think of yourself. You may think well of yourself and your competence in some areas, but not in others, and your estimation may fluctuate with illness and life’s ups and downs, but if you have good self-esteem, you’ll return to feeling good about yourself. You won’t blame yourself, nor take others’ opinions or your situation too personally. You’ll think you’re an okay person despite losses, ill heath, mistakes, and rejection.

Tips to improve self esteem:-

1. Be kind to yourself

• Get to know yourself. For example, what makes you happy and what you value in life. Keep a diary or journal and record it.
• Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: "Would I talk to a friend in this way?"
• Say positive things to yourself. Some people like to do this in front of a mirror. It can feel strange at first, but you may feel more comfortable the more you do it.
• Practise saying no. Being assertive can be difficult if you're not used to it. But agreeing to too many things to please others can be draining. It could help to pause, take a breath and think about how you feel before agreeing to do something wrong or something you don't want to.
• Try to avoid comparing yourself to others. For example, it might help to limit how much time you spend on social media or online communities. What other people often choose to share about their lives isn't always the full picture.
• Do something nice for yourself. For example, making your favourite meal or playing a game you enjoy.

2. Recognize positives

• Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself. For example, this could be going outside for a walk or doing some cleaning.
• Accept compliments. You could save them up to look over when you're feeling low or doubting yourself.
• Ask people what they like about you, if you feel comfortable. They may recognize things that you don't think about yourself.
• In your diary or journal, write a list of things you like about yourself. For example, this could be a skill that you've learnt, or something you do to help other people.

3. Build a support network

• Talk to someone you trust. Having someone listen to you and show they care can help. 
• Focus on positive relationships. It might feel difficult to control who you spend time with. But where possible, it can help to spend more time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
• Try peer support. Making connections with people who have similar or shared experiences can help. 

4. Challenge yourself

• Try volunteering. You might decide to volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about.
• Set small goals. This could help things feel more manageable, and give you a greater sense of achievement.
• Learn something new. For example, this could be trying a new hobby or creative activity. Or taking time to read a book about a new subject.

5. Take care of yourself

• Try to get enough sleep. Getting too little or too much sleep can have a negative impact on how you feel. 
• Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. 
• Try to do some physical activity. Being active can help your mental wellbeing. This may include helping to improve your self-esteem. 
• Spend time outside. Being in green space can often help how you feel. 
• Meditate on the scriptures above which talk about loving yourself.
• Avoid recreational drugs and alcohol. 

Click on the vide below for a brief summary of things you do that destroy your confidence.

What is Self Acceptance?

Self Acceptance is the state of complete acceptance of oneself. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions. It is being self-forgiveness and overcoming guilt. 

Building Self Acceptance through Positive Self talk examples.

• "I am loved and cared for by The Most High."
• “I am a good and caring person and deserve to be treated with respect.”
• “I am capable of achieving success in my life.”
• “There are people who love me and will be there for me when I need them.”
• “I deserve to be happy.”
•  “I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.”

Click on the vide below for a brief summary of self acceptance

What is Self Love?

Self Love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. 

Steps to achieving Self Love:-

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.

2. Don't worry about others opinions. 

3. Prioritize your well being and Mental Health. Do things that make you happy.

4. Allow yourself room for mistakes.

5. Remember your value does not lie in how your body looks. 

6. Don't be afraid to let go of toxic people.

7. Process your fears.

8. Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself.

9. Work on your confidence.

10. See beauty in simple things.

11. Be kind to yourself.

12. Forgive yourself.

13. Surround yourself with supportive, loving people. People who will help you through hard times and guide you on the straight and narrow.

14. Change your negative mindset.

The videos below talks about self love, click to view.